Guys are definitely not girls

Let’s talk about relationships . . . of the dating variety.

I’m probably way behind the curve on this one, but guys really do think, act and operate differently than women.  Each has basic needs which are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum from each other.

How about an example?

I’m in a large crowd of people.  Here’s me thinking to myself.

What would make you feel special in this situation Alex?  I know!  I would feel special if Kara (my first crush back in 2nd grade) would walk over and stand next to me.  Yeah, that would be amazing!  Since that’s what would melt me, that has to melt her.  So let me go do that right now.  Let me go stand next to her.  She’ll think I’m pursuing her.  Score.  I’m going to get a bonus kiss tonight!

Go ahead.  Ask about that bonus kiss.  Not so much.  More like a bonus door in the face.  She didn’t pick up what I thought I was putting down.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

The differences in all aspects of human functioning are dramatic. I love Jesus and I wouldn’t lie to you.  ;)

You can’t operate under the assumption that what you like, she likes.  What you need, she needs.  What you see, she sees.  What you put down, she picks up.

Save yourself some frustration and do some reading.  It will go a long way in developing an understanding of the opposite sex, their unique needs and how to communicate effectively.

A few book recommendations.

Love and Respect is broken down into three parts.  Read the first part carefully (the Crazy Cycle is dead on) and skim the last two parts of the book.  In my opinion, the last two parts of Love and Respect can be substituted with the For (Wo)men Only books.  Regardless if you are a guy or girl, read both For Women Only and For Men Only.

I’m not sure what you would be if you’re not a guy or girl, but whatever . . . ;)

The marriage of chaos and peace

I dropped the F-bomb last week.  While spending time with God no less.

It was the culmination of a lot of things.  Feeling the burden of sharing a message with College Life.  Having a wound stay open and unhealed because of obedience to God.  Insecurity.  Doubt.  Realizing you don’t have it all together.

But despite all that, my life has never been better.

I am closer to life in the Garden (Genesis 2:25).  A life where I walk with God in an intimate, personal way.  A sense of being naked, vulnerable and broken yet completely filled by God (Ephesians 3:19).

It is these times of chaos, yet contentment in Jesus that I go to sleep in peace and with a smile on my face.  A smile knowing I am exactly where Jesus wants me to be.  In his arms and confident of His love.

Perhaps we should stop praying for peace in our lives and start praying for peace in our spirit?  A peace that knows the Lord is near (Philippians 4:5b). And having that knowledge produce a peace which transcends all understanding and guards our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:7) from an otherwise chaotic world.

A peace not because our external lives are running smoothly, but because our internal lives are.

Connected to Jesus – the very source of life.

The one whose love radiates within us bringing warmth and comfort when it seems so cold outside.

God’s wrath and judgment are our fault

Ezekiel 24:13-14 (NIV)
13 [...] I tried to cleanse you but you would not be cleansed from your impurity, [...].

14 I the LORD have spoken. The time has come for me to act. I will not hold back; I will not have pity, nor will I relent. [...]

It’s easy to read the Old Testament and see God’s wrath and judgment resulting in a ridiculous amount of death and violence. And we wonder as we read the New Testament how is it that God is supposed to love and desire everyone to have eternal life?

The real reason for God’s wrath and judgment isn’t because God enjoys bringing those things in our life, it is because God is ultimately trying to clean us but we refuse (v13). We miss the mark.

Ezekiel 24:27 (NIV)
27 [...] and they will know that I am the Lord.

That is the mark we are missing. There is no blaming God for that.