Am I Broken?

That’s a very good question. I think God is trying to tell me yes. And not broken in the humbled before God sense, but in the broken you got to fix it ASAP sense.

Honestly, I don’t know what’s broken. This is a recent development and I think it runs pretty deep.

I just feel like there’s something missing between me and God.

Our relationship is lacking something significant.

This is just me theorizing right now, but one reason could be a disconnect from God in my head to God in my heart. Have I really made God my personal God? I’m reading portions of the Old Testament now and I find it interesting how some people refer to God as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, or the God of Jacob.

Am I relating to God like he’s someone else’s God? Have I not made God the God of Alex? Could that be why I’ve been feeling a lack of intimacy with God? Or why I find it so hard to be outwardly passionate about God when I talk with non-Christians.

Because deep down I still haven’t made that personal connection?

I don’t know. I know I’ve felt for awhile now (a year maybe) that something is missing. There’s something missing that is preventing me from being completely radical and undignified for God.

ponders What could it be?